HOME SWEET HOME!!!

I am up in Batavia, NY - referenced on Summer Catch starring Freddie Prinze, Jr. also mentioned several times on the Simpsons. Batavia, NY is where I grew up and lived (except for 4 years in Elmira, NY and 3 months in Nassau, Bahamas) until 2003 when I moved to Fairfax, VA.

Batavia, NY has a population of approzimately 16,000 people last time I counted. We have a baseball team called The Batavia Muckdogs, The City was named in honor of the short-lived Dutch republic at the turn of the nineteenth century: The Batavian Republic. That Republic took its name from the Batavii, a tribe that lived in the Netherlands in Roman times and was considered to be the ancestor of the Dutch nation.
The First Business Incubator in the United States, the Batavia Industrial Center, was started in Batavia.
John Elway, quarterback of the Super Bowl champion Denver Broncos, hit his first professional home run at Dwyer Stadium while playing minor league baseball.
In March 1926, over 1,000 people turned out to hear Helen Keller speak in the City.
The first union Soldier to enlist in the Civil War was from Batavia.

So other than that, there isn't too much going on here. When I go to the Irish pub in town, O'Lacy's, it is the same scene I left here 2 years ago. The cops, firemen, doctors all in there getting drunk. We also have a horse race track. They have recently added slot machines to the mess and now you can only imagine what it looks like in there. Also, there used to be a Christian book store called Lions Den and much to my suprise it is now a Tatoo parlor. AWESOME!!!

Batavia has 3 elementary schools, 1 middle school and 1 high school. We have a state run School for the Blind - which exposed us as kids to severally handicapped children being pushed in wheel chairs or walked through town.

We have one newspaper which usually boasts a picture of a fallen tree or what not on the front page. There is some sort of Home Land Security prison in town - a few of the Lackawanna 6 were held here for some time. Maybe they are still there who knows??

There is a mental health house which houses CRAZY people. Through the years, these men have been given names by the locals. There is Cue Ball - a bald guy with down syndrome. There is Bird Man - who dresses in fatiques and although he has a room at this house he carries around all his belongings. There is Brother John - who apparently was too smart for his own good and went crazy one day. Now he walks around with his guitar and plays on the street or at carnivals.

Batavia is a great "city" for raising children. However, for "young"(I use this term loosely), single people like myself - it does nothing for me. There are very few jobs, which means that there are very few single men with good jobs. Before I moved from Batavia, I was dating a guy that had attempted to open a steak house in town, but that failed and then he became a bouncer at a night club in Rochester. After him, I dated a Fix-It guy who hardly spoke. So the shift to Virginia is amazing.

Well, I think it's about time to go check out the Muck Dogs Game from the "Beer Garden" of course.

So my question is this: Should one settle for what's around or look what's out there before you settle??

I am also guest blogging for What the Bleep Was I thinking (WEEEEEE!!!!!) this week. So check me out on both sites.

I'm Not Talking Bout HOOKING UP and Hanging Out - I'm Just Talking Bout Tonight!!!

Okay, I am watching this show called Hooking Up. It's about online dating. WHich I know something about. I have been on several online dates. Some good, some bad and some REALLY bad.

Let's see... I will only bore you with the bad and REALLY bad. I was emailing with this guy who seemed somewhat interesting. So we decided to go out for dinner. Well, my first clue should have been when I called him before I got to the restaurant and he told me he was wearing a purple t-shirt and a Hawaiian shirt. AUGH!!! So, it went from bad to worse REALLY quick. He started talking about how he collects knives. HMMM - weird, but okay. Then he proceeded to show me the 2 knives he had on his person.

After I drank like 4 pints of beer, it was time to go. We had talked briefly about hashing and then he invited me back to his place to see his KNIFE collection. Hmmmm let me think about that .... ummmmm no. So I went home thinking I was done with this odd ball.

Well, that was until Saturday when he showed up at the HASH!!! AUGH!!! So he introduced him self at circle saying that I made him come!!! AUGH!!!! I did trail with him because he gave me no choice. He told me horrible jokes. Then the hash was over and he left. He emailed me later that day and told me how much fun he had at the hash with me. I promptly wrote him back and told him that it makes me umcomfortable that he showed up at the hash and I would appreciate if he didn't come back. He said that there were plenty of hashes in the area and that we would probably not see each other again. Well, I think explained to him that I do the majority of the groups. I guess he got the hint cuz the knife weilding wierdo never showed up again.

Online dating is like window shopping. You don't really know what you are getting until you actually go in and examine the object.

So the question of the day is this: Is it shallow to pick someone out online and spend so much time communicating prior to meeting and then when you meet you lose interest???

Where in the Wold is Carmen SanDiego Anyways???

I understand that geography is not most peoples stong point. It definitely is not mine since I moved here to Nothern Virginia 2 YeArS AGO!!! I have no idea where I am. I know how to get to work and the grocery store and the mall. That is about it and sometimes I get lost getting home from the grocery store. There is the one time when the hash was in Burke, VA and there were directions coming from the north and from the south. I had to type into Map Quest Fairfax and Burke to find out if I was going north or sough. Come on now.... give me a break. I am from Batavia, NY - a city of 16,000 and the surrounding towns were significantly smaller.

So I am talking with my sister tonight about what the remainder of the summer brings. We are traveling home to the Greater Buffalo area on Friday for a week of Fun filled activities - a golf tournement on Sat., Niagara Falls with my mother and little sister Sunday through Tuesday, my parents 20 year anniversery on Weds, time with the niece and nephew on Thursday or Friday, a bachelorette party and Jimmy Buffett Party on Sat.

So then we start discussing an idea that was presented to us last night at the Hash. Holy Fu*k mentioned going camping on the ocean and doing a make shift Hash weekend. I tell my sister this and she says " Well, which ocean?" Hmmm how does one answer this - I decided to answer with a sarcastic "Ummm Atlantic" followed by "The Artic Ocean is too cold this time of year."
DUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! She is a cute girl, but her quick wit is lacking. This is her with the drummer from a band in Cancun. Talk about confusing water ways.
Now, I can't tell you what countries surround Uzbekistan, but I surely can tell what ocean I am closest to. DAMNNNN. I guess this is just the school teacher in me coming out. You should definitely check out the sites on my niece and nephew... both sooooo cute and he looks terrified in every pic!!! Okay not every!!!

So my question for today is this: Is it more important to know where you are or where you could be??

Okay - it's a Tuesday night which usually means I went hashing. And I did, and it was good, And there was much rejoicing. And then we hashed. We hashed for hours, Uprooting trees, bushes, and flowers. Frightening small children and woodland animals. We hashed with power tools. We hashed like Vikings, with horns on our head.

Okay - enough. My point being that someone got named last week at the SH*T hash whose named was based on h im telling a fable. This is something like how the fable went: Once upon a time there was a guy - no name - who went to a camping trip called TITS. There he met a girl named - we will call her Whoosh - for this story. Now those that know Whoosh know that she is her own person. Also - we know that Whoosh DOES NOT sleep with hashers, none the less proposition them for sex. However, some may mistake her fabulous dance moves as a proposition for sex. So this hasher told a story about how the girl who we are calling Whoosh propositioned him for sex not only once but TWICE during the weekend which he denied. So we naive SH*T hashers took his word for it. Well, after discussing it, we - my lesbian lover sister(thanks Water Gate - she has known us for a year and thought we were lesbians until last night) - Metro Ho and I were discussing the plausibility of this situation. We decided that the true test would be when someone confronted this hasher for details and he told the story - which we knew would get back to said Whoosh eventually. As we were discussing this - we pulled into the parking lot to find one Whoosh present at our hash. So - the conversation of course turned toward this debaucherous topic. And low and behold Udder Ho had pics from the weekend in question. There were pics of Whoosh laying her dance moves on random hasher guys and girls and there were pics of nameless hasher sitting alone in various places amongst the campground. However, there was not one pic of nameless hasher and Whoosh to be found. Until tonight - and I will be updating this pic when CoaCoas gives me copyrights. Here is Whoosh and The Little Cock That Wouldn't!!!! The pictures get better. - (just so you know - there is a pic of The Little Cock on her cleavage). Together at last!!! So my question today is this.... Is it funnier that he made up this story or that she showed up the week after to deny all allegations???? PS - how did I do for my first post hashing blog??

IT'S HOT AND I ALMOST GOT HIT BY A DEER!!

So tonight I went out for my walk/run (and by run I mean mostly walking). It was 90 degrees but it needed to be done. I decided to bring music tonight so that I didn't have to talk to all the dog walking strangers.

Now, my music machine is a hand me down from my sister. Therfore music selections are still from her doing. Let me give you the list of songs I had to choose from:
1) Laid - you know... This bed is on fire with passion and love, blah blah blah
2)Shake Ya Ass by Mystikal
3) Never Gonna Stop - Rob Zombie
4) She Bang - Ricky Martin
5) To Be Free - Emilianna Torrini
6) Milkshake - Kellis
7) Damn it Feels Good to Be a Gangster - Geto Boys
8) Hey Ya - Outkast (oops - thanks Weeeee!)
9) Motha F'in P I M P - Snoop Dog
10) Without Me - Eminem
11) Fat Lip - Sum 41
12) Chop Suey - System of a Down
13) Renegades of Funk - Rage Against the Machine
14) You Can Do It - Ice Cube
15) Living Dead Girl - Rob Zombie

So as I am walking along trying to figure out if my sister is a metal thrasher or a Ghetto Queen, I'm not paying much attention to what is around me. That is until I almost got side swiped by a DEER. This thing came walking out and almost ran into me. WTF??? It continued on across the street, turned around and looked at me then carried on. That deer snuffed me - if only it knew i was listening to thrasher metal music and was ANGRY!!!!

So that is my story from the evening. I came home after and made Black Bean Burgers with corn salsa and guacamole. YUMMY!!!!

How was your Monday??

ACCEPTABLE HASH BEHAVIOR!!??!!!

This is a term used frequently when trying to explain a what could be construed as an indecent action at the hash. For example - here we have little Miss Special K sucking on a beer can at a hash. Acceptable hash behavior?? I am not sure. But the response was "What doesn't kill her will make her stronger!" True.



Next we see Eunich and Hedgehog doing Vanilla Pudding vodka shots out of a condom. Again - some may squwack at this action, but it is in fact acceptable hash behavior.






Here is a picture from a Toga Wine hash. Again - perfectly acceptable hash behavior - dressing up in a Toga and wreath of leaves, drinking a whole bunch of home made wine then going around and doing tastings off of guys chests.







My question however is this: This excuse works in the Hashing World, but would it work in the real world?? Speeding tickets, DUI's, getting caught cheating, etc??? Is it true that "Everything We Really Need to Know We Learned at the Hash??"

This baby is Lily Marie! She is my second cousin and was just born today. AND she looks just like my cousin - her daddy - Jesse.

This leads me to a story about babies. I went to the gynecologist - or as I like to call her - Dr. Evil last week. I found a place in the phone book and I called. Well, I should have turned around as soon as I got there. The place was dirty and the ladies working behind the desk were all white trash - you know the kind - dyed red straggly hair, stretch pants and cheap perfume.

30 mins. after I arrived - I finally got called back. I was put in a room and told to wait for the doctor.

1 hour after I arrive - the doctor comes in. She tells me all about her and her education and how she used to work at a hospital in India that delivered 40,000 babies a year and how she has been asked by the local universities to guest speak - blah blah blah. Then she starts asking about me. What do I do? Teacher. That was acceptable. What was my relationship status? Single - a look of disbelief. Then she starts on me about how I need to just trust someone and marry them and have a baby. She tells me that I am getting old and that I am running out of time. I told her that I wasn't in any rush. And she continued for another minute or so. Then she said to put on the robe and she would be right back.

2 hours after I arrive - Dr. Evil comes back. Apparently she left (meanwhile I am sitting there in the paper robe and "blanket") and went and delivered a baby!!! She apologized for my sitting there for a FREAKIN hour!!! She did her thing and mid doing her thing - there is a knock on the door and the nurse comes in and tells her that Dr. So and So is on the phone and it's important. She leaves the room!!! I was in disbelief.

2 hours and 30 mins. after I arrive - Dr. Evil comes back finishes up and ends the session with - "You should lose some weight." No DUH!!!! I try to explain to her that I have and am still but she starts pushing this program she offers on me. I tell her no thanks. She leaves, I get dresed and walk out to the desk. She comes up and tells me at the desk that she needs to see me again in a week to follow up (I am not going to give specifics here) and then in 2 months again. NO WAY!!!

3 hours after I arrive - and $10 poorer and 2 appt. cards in hand I finally leave. As soon as I get home, I called the insurance company and ask if I can go somewhere else. They said yes and I made an appt. that day.

I definitely didn't go there for relationship advice from Dr. Nicky Singh who was probably betrothed when she was born.

Okay that is the end of my rant on babies!!! Welcome to the World Lily!!!

Well, I am off to see ABBA - the music tonight at Wolf Trap. I think it's about to pour out, but we are still going. List of things for a night on the lawn at Wolf Trap:
1) Chairs - thanks Free Pussy
2) Big Cheezits
3) Tomatos, basil, mozarella skeweres with balsamic
4)Avacado rolls - kind of like sushi but not
5) Hummus and 3 other kinds of dip
6) Mini whole wheat pitas
7) wine opener
8) plastic wine glasses
9) most importantly - WINE!!!!
10) added day after - tickets - don't forget the tickets. Do not drive all the way to Wolf Trap and as you are about to pull in remember you forgot the tickets. DUH!!!!

But before I go I wanna complain about something. I am doing curriculum development this summer for the school district. It's no wonder these kids can't learn. These people that I work with are slow, uncreative and OLD (and by old - I mean don't have any idea about the internet or computers)!!! There should be an age limit on people that can develop curriculum. People that insist on writing things on paper first then putting it on their computers shouldn't be getting paid by the hour. AUGH!!!

Okay - off to ABBA!!! This is my first blog... we shall see how long I can keep this up!!! Encouragement welcomed!!!

This was the best pic I could get!!! Oh well!!!